So I thought I was doing so much better emotionally being on the strattera. So I was wrong. Today was awful to say the least. Now I could go into all the little things like, maybe I haven't gotten enough sleep, maybe I'm stressed about getting a job, maybe I didn't read my devotions today but I'm not sure that all of that would have that big of a part at 9:30 in the morning. If it all hit around 1 pm I could understand that. Anyways, I had a psychiatrist apt at what I thought was 9:30 this morning. I called Wed just to make sure I had the right time and was told that was right and then I swear that I heard 9:30 when my friend (who works at the office) called with a reminder. I am never usually late for those apts and usually I'm a good 10-15 min ahead of time. Well this morning I'm really not sure what happened b/c I was on schedule to get out the door on time and to be honest I didn't leave all that much later than I planned. Well I was just a couple (like 3 – 5) min late and when I walked in my doctor had a strange look on his face and said, umm you apt was at 9. I was like no, I swear it was at 9:30. Well I guess I was wrong and b/c he is one of the top here in Atl he was booked solid all day. So he said he would call for a couple mins (and charge still $50) around 11 to check in with how things were going. Well as soon as I walk out of the door I started to cry. Now I guess I have also been feeling detached for a couple days and it just got worse. I have decided my copying strategy when I cannot deal with life is to detach which is really not good esp b/c I am working with a teen who is detaching from life and helping her to learn how to bring herself back. I felt like a hypocrite today.
Anyways, not that anything awful happened after but grocery shopping didn't go as planned, I was late for supervision (not that my supervisor was even there on time either), my supervisor basically told me to suck it up and just take a job that will give me licensure hours (not that I have one to begin with) and then the workshop I was hoping would do really well tonight was one of the worse since my first ones and now I'm about $400 short of where I really should be this month. (oh and the stupid alliance was out in force on WOW tonight so I gave up playing). I don't know I just feel like if it could have gone wrong today it did. I hate feeling like this and I hate it b/c I was doing so very well recently. I said we would babysit tomorrow night for one of our fav families and I'm hoping that will be a happy time to spend with that family but at the same time I feel like we don't have enough time to finish all that we need to tomorrow and relax…I think I just need to go to bed
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